flowing

As we contemplate our next move--"the wandering jews" my father calls us--I tap into my true ruminating nature. That is the primary characteristic of the Earth type in Chinese medicine and I am all earth: singsong voice, mother (and meddler) to all, rounder body type with strong hands, sweet tooth, easily bogged down, obsessive ruminator. Regurgitator.

I was thinking today about what is really important to me, trying to clarify a strong intention for our next move so we can quit our wandering, and I realized that not only have I gotten so spoiled by 17 years on the coast, but the last 2 places we've lived have been walking distance to the river. OK, I understand these can't be pre-requisites, but our family knows deeply the restorative power of flowing water and river stones (as well as the killer baseball skills so much rock throwing develops).

Gotta love it here. First we come upon a rusted out shell of car, covered in dust, engine revving as it crawls totally vertical up a rock face under the bridge. I think Isaiah and I had very different ideas about the coolness factor of that sight!

Then, we were reintroduced to a new season of one of our river mugworts, just up and glowing there in the middle of the rocks, about 10 leaves tall. We greeted it so happily and when we asked for some leaves, it beamed Yes! Yes! Yes! We each had a leaf next to our dinner plate, and will place them under our pillows for interesting dreams tonight.

Speaking of dreams, I had an alarming dream last week (this is me who usually dreams of cooking dinner or tripping as I walk down the street) about some Burmese monks walking down the street in a protest, us joining in and then metal walls dropping down to fence city blocks into a police state. So sad what's going on in Burma. Although the scale is different, it reminds me of how unbelievable it seemed that the US government couldn't/wouldn't help the people of New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina.

Thanks to K to supplying a link to an organization--Avaaz-- that works solely with monks to distribute aid. According to their letter, placing money with the monks is the only way to be sure it won't be misused or outright stolen by the military junta in control. I haven't fully checked it out, so do your homework first, but it sounds good to me.

One more thing...if you're feeling inspired in the kitchen or if you're in need of inspiration, head on over to mama's village and join her excellent contest on avoiding takeout and feeding the family so well. Takeout's not an issue for us, given our distance from Thai food, but I'm always happy to talk about our meals.

ass-u-m-ptions

Ahhh...as soon as we got this news about moving and I started to feel the range of emotions as they slowly sink in, I got a clear hit that this could open unexpected doors for us and take us where we need to go. I could easily see in the first few hours over margaritas with girlfriends that the things that bother me are the parts that aren't real, the monkeys jumping in my head, as candace would say. The inconvenience, that's real. The other stuff, hmmm...let's see. What are some of these assumptions?

The children need the childhood experience I've set up for them. We are creating our own cooperative, with a mom friends circle surrounding the kid friends circle--moms creating the curriculum and setting that is ideal for the children. Well, yes, of course that is all true and our vision for Luna Kids Cooperative is real and beautiful and manifesting as we speak. But I also realize that that is my ideal of their childhood. The most important thing we can give them is a loving home and sane parents. But look at all the people who thrive even without that.

I've been wishing lately that I could ask Isaiah (and soon Miel, I'm sure) 20 years from now: what would you rather have? A childhood closer to Grandma and Grandpa and Nonni and Poppop or a life in a sweet community on the northern California coast? These are the decisions we make as parents, especially as parents who find themselves working at home, on computers, wherever they choose.

Things shouldn't be like this. That's a good one, isn't it? The whole book The Power of Now seems to be about accepting everything exactly as it is. Wouldn't it be great if you could just read a book and change your mind? I'm interested in checking out his new Oprah-friendly book....everyone seems to be carrying it around with them. Will it help me?

I shouldn't have to deal with this. Uh-huh. And everyone should be happy and healthy and have exactly what they want. I shouldn't have to suffer! I'm suspecting that this is not only a uniquely modern sentiment, but also one much more prevalent in the United States than in other places and even more especially, in California, the land of Lifestyle. I'll be that in cultures ravaged by war, famine, dictatorship, and poverty, the (woe is me) inconvenience of moving (oh the effort) from one nice house to another (but not as nice!) is pretty much unfathomable.

We should own a house. We should have more money. Steve should make more money. I should have saved more money. This list could go on and on, shame and recrimination for days.

So...what's next? We are looking at places in Blue Lake, Arcata, Wadmalaw Island, western North Carolina. I am doing some serious fantasizing about intentional communities and ecovillages and have been curious about Earthaven for years. Any cool connections you can recommend in the Carolinas? Boone? Celo?

Thanks for coming along for the ride!

domesticus interruptus

Whoa...looks like we're on the move again. We just received our 60-day notice from our landlord--they need our house for unforeseen circumstances for a family member. Very nice note, at least. Good tenants, great references, how very sorry, was hoping to catch you in person...

But now we see yet one more reason why renting sucks.

In some weird way, it feels ok. It will give us the push we need to make something happen...whether it's buying a house, moving East, something.

But right now it just feels gosh-darn inconvenient. As in, we hardly have time to do what we need to do each day for the next 2 months. Um, moving and packing and looking for a place weren't exactly factored in.

In case you didn't already know, we just moved back to our home in which both children were born after a year + in a yurt on a farm. We've been happily enjoying the luxury of mod-cons, even as we wince at our growing bellies and slumping computer posture.

And so, the ride begins again. We get more practice in trusting the flow of this life, knowing we can't control it all. Trying to make the right choices for our family. Enjoying the beauty and wonder of each day.