Monday, May 5, 2008

ass-u-m-ptions

Ahhh...as soon as we got this news about moving and I started to feel the range of emotions as they slowly sink in, I got a clear hit that this could open unexpected doors for us and take us where we need to go. I could easily see in the first few hours over margaritas with girlfriends that the things that bother me are the parts that aren't real, the monkeys jumping in my head, as candace would say. The inconvenience, that's real. The other stuff, hmmm...let's see. What are some of these assumptions?

The children need the childhood experience I've set up for them. We are creating our own cooperative, with a mom friends circle surrounding the kid friends circle--moms creating the curriculum and setting that is ideal for the children. Well, yes, of course that is all true and our vision for Luna Kids Cooperative is real and beautiful and manifesting as we speak. But I also realize that that is my ideal of their childhood. The most important thing we can give them is a loving home and sane parents. But look at all the people who thrive even without that.

I've been wishing lately that I could ask Isaiah (and soon Miel, I'm sure) 20 years from now: what would you rather have? A childhood closer to Grandma and Grandpa and Nonni and Poppop or a life in a sweet community on the northern California coast? These are the decisions we make as parents, especially as parents who find themselves working at home, on computers, wherever they choose.

Things shouldn't be like this. That's a good one, isn't it? The whole book The Power of Now seems to be about accepting everything exactly as it is. Wouldn't it be great if you could just read a book and change your mind? I'm interested in checking out his new Oprah-friendly book....everyone seems to be carrying it around with them. Will it help me?

I shouldn't have to deal with this. Uh-huh. And everyone should be happy and healthy and have exactly what they want. I shouldn't have to suffer! I'm suspecting that this is not only a uniquely modern sentiment, but also one much more prevalent in the United States than in other places and even more especially, in California, the land of Lifestyle. I'll be that in cultures ravaged by war, famine, dictatorship, and poverty, the (woe is me) inconvenience of moving (oh the effort) from one nice house to another (but not as nice!) is pretty much unfathomable.

We should own a house. We should have more money. Steve should make more money. I should have saved more money. This list could go on and on, shame and recrimination for days.

So...what's next? We are looking at places in Blue Lake, Arcata, Wadmalaw Island, western North Carolina. I am doing some serious fantasizing about intentional communities and ecovillages and have been curious about Earthaven for years. Any cool connections you can recommend in the Carolinas? Boone? Celo?

Thanks for coming along for the ride!

3 comments:

village mama said...

The witty title of this post set me up for what was to follow. The only advice I ever give myself is: look at the situation from my 90 yr old self and LISTEN to my gut.

Last week my gut talked me out of putting my 20 month old into a two day a week preschool. This week I'm delirious from the joy I feel from having made the decision.

Good luck Rachel.

Meg McElwee said...

Hi Rachel,

You'll probably think I'm goofy for writing to you about this, but I was reading Amanda's post today and my eyes drifted to your words "North Carolina" and I had to read your comment! I'm originally from northern California, currently living in rural Mexico, and will be moving to North Carolina in two months with my husband to start a family. I'm also a big fan of Amanda, and I consider her one of my dearest blogging friends - so yes, if you moved to Durham, you would definitely have a like-minded family close by! You can check out my blog at www.sewliberated.typepad.com. Be in touch!

Meg

jessie said...

Ooooh, I can relate to this! Personally, my mom would love for us to live closer (like right next door) but also knows that there is really a no better or more optimal community for our family to live than where we are now. Thats what MIL units are for.... maybe? You have a community here that would miss you dearly. It does sound exciting to go, also, of course!

I hear you about the rest of it too! Whatever you decide, it will be alright.